Wednesday, May 24, 2017

You May Not Know it but, One Night You Saved My Life

"Anytime you try to be a loving person, you're doing your part to save the world."
~ Marianne Williamson ~

You May Not Know it but, One Night You Saved My Life



I was living alone and sitting in my apartment looking out the window at the city below. People’s work day was ending and the city’s nightlife was coming to life. I was only an observer to that life. After a dinner of frozen pizza, two shots of Wild Turkey and two beers, while dessert started with beer #3. The city was lit up, but my soul was very dark. I was sinking deep into a very dark and lonely time in my life. I tried calling a couple of people and everyone was busy because they had a life.

I did some writing which helped divert my thoughts most of the time, but not tonight. As the night went on and the Friday night activity picked up outside my window, my slide continued. My mind went over the events of the last few years; it had been an emotional roller coaster. Major life changes included becoming single and not seeing my girls often, living alone for the first time in my life, leaving a long-time job to chase a dream, getting in and out of a relationship, and back to living alone, realizing that my dream was just that and would be nothing more.



Was I not meant to be happy and destined to be alone? Was I wasting my time trying to make a life for myself that might not be meant to be? Why was I expending so much energy for little to no return? After all, how long would it take anyone to even know that I was gone? The nocturnal gloom was dragging on incessantly with nothing encouraging on the horizon, and here I sit. Watching the world go by, watching people living their lives and questioning where mine was going or if it was going anywhere. Was it time to abandon trying? Did I actually even care to continue trying? None of the queries were helping my disposition in the least. That did not stop me from festering in my own quicksand though. 

It was late and I was nearing the edge when my phone began to play Sweet Home Alabama. I know two things from that night; wallowing in self-pity sucks and one very short phone call can be a lifeline. My friend, you may not remember the brief conversation that night and you may not know it, but one night you saved my life. You were heading home and saw my missed call from earlier in the evening and you called me asking if I was okay. I do not remember everything from that conversation; I do know that because of you taking a few minutes to call and make sure I was okay, that gave me the strength to try again tomorrow. At the end of our brief conversation, I joked by thanking you for talking me down from the ledge. It was a figurative ledge but that night it was more real than you know.




Thank you, my friend, for taking the time that night. 

Never underestimate the value of a few minutes of your time. You may change someone’s life without even knowing it. Never underestimate your value or your reason for being here. 

NEVER STOP LOOKING AND REACHING FOR LIFELINES!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for your honesty. Your candor an vulnerability are beautiful. I'm sorry that you've gone through this pain but I'm so grateful that you're still here. Keep an eye on your mail box, I'm sending a letter off to you. hugs hugs hugs! Tracey

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