“Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.”
~ George Eliot ~
Guard Your Soul and at No Time Give Up
The other day I had a discussion that reminded me that most people do not understand depression. I got thinking about September being Suicide Prevention Month and I thought that there was no better time to encourage education on depression. For more stories and resources go to Defeat the Stigma at http://defeatthestigmaproject.org/.
Many people think you mean that you are sad or have a negative attitude and need to cheer up or think positively. People say things like, “I know how you feel, I was depressed when ____ happened”, “what is bothering you?”, “what is causing this mood?” or “we all have bad things happen and get sad sometimes.”.
I have been much more open about what I have been dealing with the past few years and it is interesting how people react differently. What I want people to know most of all is that, if I share this with you it is because I trust you and I want you to understand, not because I’m looking for attention. I want others to know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not a sign of weakness, as a matter of fact, it takes tremendous strength just to move forward every day.
Opening up to someone can be scary and kind of a double-edged sword. Some people's instinct is to feel pity, while others have a perception of a person who says that they are depressed is that they are lazy or taking the easy way out. If you think this is the easy way out, you are sadly mistaken. This is a condition that can sneak up on you and kick your ass. Other times, it just sits there weighing you down and every time you think it is gone, it slaps you in the back of the head. Eventually, you become numb to pretty much everything whether good or bad.
This can lead to a state of Dysthymia and Apathy, which is a protective numbness to emotions and life. For instance, when someone asks you what makes you happy and you do not have an immediate answer for them. When you tell someone that you do not know what makes you happy and you are not even sure what that means anymore, they look at you like you are from Mars.
What can you do to help someone struggling with depression?
- Simply be there for them and do not be judgmental
- Do not pretend that you know what they are feeling. If you have never really experienced depression, be honest and listen
- Do not say things like: "cheer up", "don't be a grouch", "you are so negative", "You need to man up", "Toughen up"
- Do say things like: "I'm here if you want to hang out", "Are you getting help?", "Call me anytime if you need to talk", "Is there anything you need?"
- Do not avoid them
- Educate yourself about depression. Knowledge is power!
- Know the warning signs of someone who might do harm to themselves
- Love them because sometimes they do not love themselves
- Be understanding when they are not up to being sociable
- What Are Symptoms of Depression?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
- Fatigue and decreased energy
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
- Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- Irritability, restlessness
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
- Overeating or appetite loss
- Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
- Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
Please seek help if you are feeling any of these things and know that you are not alone. If you or someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and is staffed by certified crisis response professionals.
