Inspiration Like a Flame Gets Passed On And Does Not Take Away From Itself

Inspiration like a flame gets passed on and does not take away from itself

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."

~ Edward Everett Hale ~

My current challenge to myself was inspired by a friend who not only participated in, but finished in the top ten and won his age group in the Grand to Grand Ultra. For those who are nor familiar with this, it is a seven day/six stage completely self-supported race in the Grand Canyon. Basically, that means clothing, sleeping bag, every bit of food, etc. you carry as you run 160+ miles in a week. This was not only an endurance event but an extreme test of perseverance and heart. In a normal endurance event you push on until you reach the finish, but in this one the competitors had to will themselves to the start line every morning. It was described as being a relentless, daily beating with a baseball bat that you willingly lined up for. I have the utmost respect for anyone who put themselves through this and reached the finish.  

This brings me to the epiphany that I had the other morning during a run. I am going to attempt to relight my own inner fire by lacing up my running shoes every day in October. Along with my regular training runs I will run at least one mile every day in the month of October. There are going to be days when it will not be convenient or easy, but hence the challenge. Many undertakings are born or perish out of developing habits, good or bad. It seems that bad behaviors are much easier to pick up and stick with, while the good ones are more difficult to cultivate. The time has come to retool good practices and passion while eradicating some bad behaviors.    

My hopes are that by knowing that at some point and time during each day I will have to get at least one mile in the books that I will in turn make better nutritional choices as well. It will also take away the opportunity for me to make deals with myself like “maybe I will do it this afternoon if I feel like it” or “I think I will just do it tomorrow”, because I will have to do it and not put it off. Do away with the excuses and reasons not to do something and you are doing it. I make better choices when I am going to run, I run well when I feel better, and I feel better after I run. It is all cyclical behavior just the same as if I make poor choices I make more convincing excuses and in the long run, avoid the long run. Plan ahead, follow through and greatly increase the chances of success.

I also like to pass on inspiration to others, so if I can get people involved and excited it will make it a more powerful and meaningful endeavor. Inspiring thought and action was the main motivation behind starting this blog in the beginning. I have been inspired and am ready to share and encourage you to develop or fine tune a habit of healthy living and enhance your quality of life. People are beginning to look towards the end of the year and then they will plan a New Year’s Resolution. Before they know it March rolls around and the cycle starts all over until someday never comes. If we can be honest with ourselves then why wait if we know this is what happens. The Time is now and the Place is here!

There is always something we are meaning to start or want to develop, so here is the chance. I would like to throw out this challenge to anyone who is interested in getting a new healthy living behavior started. Pick one thing; it can be running, walking, riding a bike, eating vegetables or any behavior that has been on the someday calendar and has been brushed aside. I would caution you not to try to fix everything at once, pick on thing each month and soon you will be automatically making better choices. It can be as simple as saying “I am going to do 20-30 minutes of physical activity (it can be any combination) every day”. Make sure that it is challenging but doable because you do not want to set yourself up for failure. If that means on a given day all you can squeeze in is 10 minutes before work and 10-15 during lunch or after work then that is what you do.  It is about building habits and not beating yourself up over details.

If we each can motivate and inspire one person we can make a huge difference and some pretty incredible changes. Join me in whatever way you choose and chip away at the things that are hurting you or holding you back. 

Renewed Hope through an Adoption Plan

 “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.”

~ An ancient Chinese belief ~

Renewed Hope through an Adoption Plan

With October approaching and it being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month I decided to provide an open and honest picture of the road that led to try to adopt a child at this stage of my life.

For those who do not know; I was previously married and have two beautiful, caring and intelligent grown daughters. I like to think that I at least contributed to the caring part of that combination. In 2007 with my youngest turning twenty-one, their mother and I separated and then divorced. Since I got into this relationship very young, I was moving into my own apartment for the very first time in my life. After some time I determined that I was destined to be alone and convinced I would definitely never marry again…

In the fall of 2009 someone entered my life who would begin to change my thoughts on the subject. I met a lady who was nice and found I had quite a bit in common with her. We went on to become friends, then best friends and finally realized we were soul mates. We both agreed that we were too old to play games and both had our share of dealing with head games in the past, so first order of business was that we would be open and honest with each other.  One night we were talking and I could tell she wanted to ask me something so I told her “you can ask me anything you want as long as you promise to never hold it against me.” Nervously she asked me if I was done having children; I told her that if I was with just the right person I thought I still had something to offer a child. She explained how important it was for her to have a child and be a mother, and she wanted me to know up front.

We were married in September of 2010 and for the next ten months, life finally felt like I had always heard it could be. During the spring of 2011 Kristen came to me and told me that she was pregnant and I realized just how much I really was ready to have another child. I was so excited and told more people than I was supposed to before I was supposed to; while she was remaining cautiously optimistic. On July 25^th 2011 she called me at work to say she was having some issues and was going to go to the doctor but for me not to worry about getting out of work to go with her. There was something in her voice and I felt like something was not right. I left work and raced to try to get there before she left work for the doctor. I found her car just as she was walking out and told her I just wanted to go with her. Little did I know when I woke up that morning that this would end up as one of the darkest days I had ever had to endure.

We had suffered a miscarriage and I was right next to my wife as her world caved in and could do nothing to stop it. It was the most helpless and useless I have ever felt in my life and I would not wish it on anyone. I held it together while I drove her to pick up my car and told her I would see her at home and then lost it once I was alone in my car. When I got home we stood in the kitchen holding each other and cried for a while and then sat on the couch together for hours in silence. There was nothing else that could be said at that time so we simply held each other.

A loss of a child has been known to ruthlessly tear marriages apart, but we were determined to be each other’s support system. It has not been easy but I am happy to say that we have endured this challenge. Unfortunately, we were not done being tested. One year and two days later we would relive this nightmare again, and then two more times in 2014. There is nothing that can be thrown at us now that we cannot handle together.

We decided that adoption would be a way that we could fulfill our hopes of building a family while giving a child an opportunity to be loved unconditionally. We had an Adoption Agent/Counselor named Nancy recommended to us and went to meet with her and right away we were both comfortable with her. She began to guide us through the process and our home study and was straightforward and encouraging. We have completed our profile books and created a Facebook page called Eric and Kristen Hope to Adopt which can be found below. We are seeking to bring a newborn into our home in a domestic open adoption. My wife and I are very aware of the difficult decisions that have to be made in life and do not take the decision that a birth mother makes in seeking an adoption plan for her baby lightly.

Please look at our page and like and share it to help get the word out.  

Eric and Kristen Hope to Adopt:

 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eric-and-Kristen-Hope-to-Adopt/280345222125838

I started a Facebook page for Father’s who have lost babies. It is a closed group where you are free to discuss, ask questions and help support each other.
If you are the father of an Angel please visit: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/657401390978716/

A Short Pay it Forward How are you Doing?

“We are all just walking each other home”

~ Ram Dass ~ 

How are You Doing Today?

When I started this blog I was not sure what direction it would take or what the main focus would be. It has from time to time taken on the looks of a running blog, but that is not the true essence either. It is primarily a blog about dealing with life and the bumps along the way, so if at times it feels like it is all over the place, I guess perhaps it is. One thing I have always tried to do is write from the heart and never simply for the sake of posting something. That is why it has been a little while between posts and this one will be short and sweet.

I want people to realize that no matter how hard things get or how fast the world seems to spin, there is always a way to get through it. No matter how positive and okay I try to appear, sometimes there are times when everything feels like it is closing in and spinning out of control. At these times it is amazingly refreshing when someone out of the blue asks how you are doing today. It can really lift the weight off of your shoulders long enough to take a couple of deep breathes. I was lucky enough to have a couple of people do this for me and I am very grateful to them. And some days having any degree of gratitude and hope can be enormous. So, consider this my pay it forward how do you do. How are you really doing today?

Now if you would think about the people in your life; family, friends, coworkers or neighbors who might need a moment of compassion and ask how they are doing today. It can never be a bad thing to check on each other once in a while. Even if they are doing okay, it’s a reminder that you are there if they need you. Letting a person know that you care is never a waste of time.

I am blown away every time I see that people all over the world have looked at and read my blog. My intention has always been that if even one person relates to something I write and it helps them in any way, then every key stroke has been worth it. Thank you for taking the time to read along and hang with me on this journey.