The Dating Conundrum

The Dating Conundrum  

“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.”

~Joey Adams~

I have recently thrown my hat back into the dating arena. It is, to say the least, a challenge. I am by nature a blunt, straightforward person which everyone “says” they want…not always true. Being too honest and not being face to face where you can engage in real give and take conversation mostly leads to misunderstanding. Communicating over text or other messaging forms is difficult. Oh, I can absolutely blow it face to face, I’d be lying if I said different but, I feel like a have a better chance of being understood. 

I have been ghosted over such volatile topics as what kind of music I like or that I have a younger child. First, if the fact that I like many genres of music, yes including Tupac is a reason to run for the hills, I say run. As for having a younger child, take a minute to understand that she is very important to me and spends time with me, she has a mother, so settle down psycho and take a breath. So, how do you balance being honest and scaring people away? 

How do you even know when you are right for each other or one or both of you is filling a void? Everyone says “you just know” but, I don’t get it. I thought at times this might be true but I was wrong, I hope someday I get it. For now, I guess I will have to ride the roller coaster and hope that the car stays on the tracks. 

I have seen so many people settle and try to convince everyone, including themselves that they are happy. I’ve done this and don’t want to anymore. So, stumble through I will, at least for a while. If all else fails I can liquidate and jump on my bike and ride into the sunset.  

As always, I wish you peace!

The Consequences of Leadershit

 The Consequences of Leadershit

 

“Never push a loyal person to the point where he no longer cares.”

We all know someone loyal and has been pushed past their breaking point. Hell, at some point we all have probably been that person. Why do people tolerate sub-par or even horrible qualities in managers? Many people in management positions are not leaders and have no idea how to be one. There is a difference between being inexperienced or simply a poor Manager and having real Leadershit potential.

 I borrowed the term “leadershit” from a friend and it fits only too well the kind of people I am talking about. These people can micro-manage employees while never really giving them any guidance. Everything you don’t do, you should have done, and everything you do is wrong. Every day is a barrage of narcissistic, passive-aggressive behavior that leaves you wondering why you are doing what you do in the first place. It is physically and mentally exhausting just to make it through the week. Throughout the process, you feel like your work and that of those around you are suffering.  What is hard is when these managers keep up a front to their peers and superiors while quietly belittling those around them.

Some might even use the term “gas-lighting” for the way they treat others. Making it feel like you are the one who is messed up and should be doing things differently. Add in the inability to feel empathy and it becomes a real party. Working for a person like this leaves one feeling empty, useless and unfulfilled so, why do we do it?

Sometimes everything else feels like it could be right if this one thing was fixed. You put your hope for the future in those above you to do the right thing. Sometimes they do and sometimes they will let it drag out while employees leave. It is easier to blame those who are not there anymore than it is to stand up and do what is right.  Hence, those responsible for these managers can either do what is right and admittedly difficult or become leadershit breeders.   

If you are in a leadership position and tout having a specific “culture” that your company follows, you had better be living that culture from top to bottom. Not just when it is convenient or to parade around to the outside world. I have news for you; your employees know when it is genuine and when it is BS. End leadershit now!!