Day Eight and Beyond - Simply Smiles Travel, Thoughts, Questions and Plans for Next year...

"I feel like I'm somebody...having a Lakota name. I feel more meaningful."

~ Evelyn Veaux, Lakota elder ~

Sunrise before leaving the Rez

Day Eight and Beyond - Simply Smiles Travel, Thoughts, Questions, and Plans for Next year...

I sit here looking at this beautiful horizon wondering what awaits me back in the real world. This morning a bunch of us got up early to see the final sunrise of our stay here. I took a bunch of pictures as usual. I think the moods were a mix of relief to go home and many people figuring out that they were going to miss this place. I know that is what was going on in my head. I was the first one packed and ready to throw my bag on the bus and head home (or so I thought). More to come on this.

 There was a group huddled together wrapped in sleeping bags on the basketball court. I wandered around by myself taking it all in. Still a wide range of emotions running around inside of me. Would I come back here again? That question will not be answered for a while. Would it even be good for me to come back? This has triggered a lot of things in me and I will see what the coming weeks have in store for me. One thing is for sure, I will not miss the goofy camp songs that one of the Regis students keeps instigating but, I will miss the people.



A Million things are going through my head right now. Many things about the trip, some very personal, and others are some new things I learned about myself. I will definitely miss this place and the people I shared it with and will need to step back from all the pain this beautiful land holds. Leaving with some questions answered and many more added to the pile.

After we loaded our bags on the bus, the Community Center was empty except for Sam. I stood there looking around with a lump in my throat and told her that it was going to be a lot harder leaving than I thought it would be. Was I going to actually miss the craziness? 

I believe the answer to that particular question was, yes! Will I miss it enough to come back? Time will answer that one.




The bus ride to the airport was quiet and somber. Lot's of deep thought and reflection going on. I had a hotel room and a shower waiting for me in Rapid City since my flight did not leave until early Sunday morning.

Once we got to the airport I visited with Peter for a little bit until he had to meet his plane and then hung out with the Regis gang. After a while, I said my goodbyes and took the shuttle to a well-deserved shower.

The room was nice and the shower was long and magnificent. I was too tired to get back on the shuttle to go eat and then take it back after, so, I walked across the parking lot to Sickies Garage forthat long-awaited burger and cold beer. Then back to the room where I put the TV on and went to bed. I am completely drained mentally and physically at this point.

Afterthoughts

All week I have felt like a butterfly (or another less attractive insect) trying to break out of a cocoon. There was very little that was comfort zone friendly for me. I felt the pain of the people and also, directly from the land itself. I also felt that I was in the presence of some very special people with pure hearts. 

My emotions were on edge all week long and came pretty close to getting the better of me at times. I feel like a made a few real friends this week. Time will tell if I see them again but, something tells me that I will cross paths with some of them. 

As I travel home, I notice that I am feeling an increased amount of guilt, disgust, and frustration the further I get from the Rez. I know that this is part of the decompression process but it is hard none the less. "Civilization" feels uncivilized to me right now. 

During one of our conversations, Peter told me to keep doing what I was doing with my employees and the people around me. I guess for now I will try to keep my own front porch clean and hope that others follow suit. I hope that is the case anyway. 

A little while after my return I met with a dear friend for coffee. She is the lady who is responsible for introducing me to Simply Smiles and the previous pages. I told her that I noticed that I now had a very low tolerance for whiney, complaining people. We talked about all of the work that still needed to be done, the stories that needed to be told, the wrongs that needed to be righted, and minds that needed to be changed.

She reminded me that "one must chip away at issues to have real progress. If you plow headfirst into people trying to make them listen to you, you will turn them off of your message. This only works with crazy, evil people." Thanks, Miss J! I love you. 

The best I can do is spread compassion and empathy to those who need it, keep sharing this story with whoever will listen, and teach my children to spread love everywhere they go. It has been said that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that is why my tattoo on my shoulder says Love, Loyalty, Friendship. 

Keep your heart and your mind open and spread hope, love, and compassion. As for the question that has been asked and pondered a bunch of times in the past five or six weeks...I sent an email today requesting a week next summer. Stay tuned!

Resource List:

http://www.simplysmiles.org/la-plant-oral-history/

http://lakhota.org/

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWebueRr1D03NQzavj6yIHZimqbjFhQ1Y

Day Seven – Simply Smiles, Today is our Final Day Here (at least for now)

"Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth."

~ Bradley Whitford ~

The May 26 to June 2 group at CRST with Simply Smiles

Day Seven – Simply Smiles, Today is our Final Day Here (at least for now)

Today has been completely insane! We were greeting and cheering for the kids as they got off the bus for summer camp this morning. And then…the (W) brothers arrived. The first one gave us all the finger, the second told us to “shut the f**k up”, and the next (who was the kid I played UNO with yesterday) just looked away. There are four of them all together I think but, after that, I stopped paying attention. The day was headed downhill.   

The kids were really wound for sound all day. There was some definite disrupted and distracted energy going on. One of the bright spots was that I was watching a flag football game and when some of the staff members got pulled away, I got pulled into the game. Towards the end, the yellow team was just me and two boys. We tried a couple of trick plays and they were getting into it. It was fun.

Then, I found out why the staff was pulled away from the game. There had been a problem with some of the older kids up at the school. They jumped into action and brought the kids back to the community center and canceled the rest of the activities for the camp day. The vans and busses began bringing kids home. They handled the craziness quickly and professionally. Again, I don’t know how they do this day in and day out.

Storms move in fast

I spent the rest of the afternoon helping Marcella with the garden and greenhouse, the cover was blown off last week during a storm. There was another storm moving into the area and she was concerned that hail would damage the plants and vegetables and she was trying to cover all the raised beds. She told me that two years ago she quit her job and went to Standing Rock as a Water Protector and upon returning, she went to work for Simply Smiles. I told her that my first protest ever was at the Missouri River to support Standing Rock. This woman is a hard worker. I worked my ass off just to keep up with her, they are lucky to have her. I think everything will be safe.

Just before the final community dinner of the week, we went to the school for ice-cold showers. I really needed a shower even though I forgot my soap and shampoo this time. I am going to challenge the shower and water heater at the hotel tomorrow. I plan to check in, take a long shower and find a burger and cold beer. Brian told me to check out the Firehouse Brewery in Rapid City.

We had our wrap-up meeting and Final Reflections. Some of the kids really opened up about things. The second part was called Tap Affirmations. We split into three groups and the groups sitting down had to cover their faces. The other group went around and tapped people on the shoulder in response to questions asked by the group leaders. It was a nice experience.   

One of the students shared that she struggles with anxiety and depression and her story sounded all too familiar to mine. During my turn, I told the group about the Gratitude Stone that I carry. Afterward, I gave her one that I had picked up earlier today and told her to hold it whenever she was struggling to think of something good.

There were lots of hugs and goodbyes all the way around. People took pictures and some exchanges of contact information. I would like to stay in touch with some of these people. It is amazing how you can feel so close to people with whom you have just recently met.

Tomorrow I will take my phone off of airplane mode and let the world know that I am still alive. I am not sure how I feel about leaving now. I am ready in one sense but I think I am going to miss these people and this place. People ask if you will come back. That is like asking a person at the finish line of their first marathon if they will do another. It cannot be answered at the finish line. 

Stay tuned for traveling home and decompression thoughts about returning to "civilization".