Four Butterflies, a Dog, and a Miracle

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen."

~ Paulo Coelho ~

Four Butterflies, a Dog, and a Miracle

Anyone who know us or follows this blog knows the roller coaster of emotions my wife and I have been on since the Spring of 2011. It began Father's Day 2011 with a card and a pregnancy test telling me that I was going to be a father. I have two grown children and was ready for the challenge to begin again. What I was not ready for was the visit to the doctors office and watching my wife's hopes, dreams, and whole world come crashing down while being helpless to save her.

We suffered through three more miscarriages, one in 2012 and two in 2014. We had decided to adopt and were a year into the process when before an x-ray from a trail running injury that Kristen found out she was pregnant for the fifth time. The person giving her the news was befuddled by her reaction, wondering why she was not happy. Losing a baby drains you much more than mentally and physically, it drains your heart of hope.

We decided to see what fate had in store for us while being cautiously optimistic as the pregnancy surpassed any of our past experiences. We were both very nervous but hopeful. We have had so many people tell us "you get pregnant while trying to adopt"well, that is statistically not true. In this case though, I believe an adoption did influence our lives. The adoption was our dog Odie and somehow we began to become a family.

Jumping ahead to December of this year; we head to the hospital at 2 a.m. with my wife in labor. My plan was to stay at the top corner of the bed and look at nothing. This was what I did the last two times I was in a labor and delivery room but it would not be how things would not end up turning out. 

We had great nurses including spending twelve hours with an amazing labor and delivery nurse named Heather. She had me completely relaxed and I was involved in the entire process including cutting the cord. It was an incredible experience that I will not forget. Our beautiful daughter came into the world that night at 6:52 p.m.

 They placed the baby across my wife's chest and she instantly stopped crying. I got to finally see a look of complete unconditional love and satisfaction. I sat down for a couple minutes watching them and then went outside and walked around under a beautiful star filled sky contemplating the events of the day. 

She is lucky to have two grown sisters who will be incredible role models and be surrounded by many people who love and care for her. I hope to expose her to many different cultures, people and ways of thinking to help her become a caring, compassionate citizen of the world. 

Take Time to Listen and Love

"If we all take the time to listen and love each other, this world would be a better place."

~ Mike Love ~

Take Time to Listen and Love

My wife and I attended a Holiday Celebration and Remembrance for people who have lost babies due to miscarriage and other causes last night. This is a time to get together and support each other while we remember the little ones that we either never got to hold or held only briefly. Each passing year when we go to this event and other Remembrances; we see some familiar faces and the unfortunately easy to recognize pain of a recent loss.

Candles lit during the ceremony 

The babies ornaments

Last night was no different. The couple standing in front of us, who my wife and met, had just recently experienced a loss. They were both very nice people and I instantly felt the pain coming from both of them. I watched through the night as people came to her with hugs and kind words while the husband stood close by and supported her.

During one of the times when she was surrounded by people and he was taking a picture of their candle, I walked over and introduced myself. Normally I think I should do this and don’t because I mostly keep to myself. But this time I decided that it was time. No one usually asks the man if he is alright, we are men after all, right? We are supposed to be alright and take care of everything. Well, I know that sometimes we need someone to ask, so I did.

 The most memorable part of the night was listening to a little boy and his Mom talk as they arrived. As they walked up to the table to pick up the ornament they made to remember the little girl she lost, the boy asked “is this where my sister is?” and the Mom replied “no honey, this is where the celebration for her is.” Wow, you never think of having those conversations with a little child but there she was having it.

The thought behind this post is this. Holidays can be a loving, giving, and wonderful time, but they can also be difficult, painful, and stressful. So, check on each other. Be kind to each other. Most of all, love each other. Like it or not, we are all in this together.