Strength Emenates out of the Depths of Struggle

“The devil whispers "you cannot withstand the storm". The warrior replies "I am the storm".”

~ Anonymous ~

Strength Emenates out of the Depths of Struggle

I will not rant about “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. Technically, in the long run it may instill in you coping skills, but, getting the shit beat out of you day in and day out will break your spirit. If you reject quitting and refuse to give in, you will get to know yourself better that any other time in your life. You will also know who your people are. The ones who love and care about you and will not abandon you when you are at your lowest point, when you don’t even want to be around yourself.

There were times when I felt that all the fight had been drained from my body and Dysthymia and apathy take over. The best way I can describe it is being in the ring with a professional boxer and you are taking numerous body blows followed by a demoralizing right hook.  It hurts so bad that you wish the bell would ring, at the same time, you continue walking directly in his direction with little regard for the outcome. You just do not care about the outcome.

I recognize that I have not been the most pleasant person to be around the last three years. There is a small group of people who I owe a debt of gratitude to. These people who walked with me in the darkness and were unafraid of getting dirty are very special to me. I give you my word that I will be there for anything you need, any time, no matter what. I love you and in some cases, I owe you more than you will ever know.

I know that I am not out of the woods yet. I am still in a place of struggle but at least I am fighting back now. I will continue to battle for the people I love and those who need me. No more feeling sorry for myself. Screw those people who have waited for me to fail or give up, you are going to have to continue waiting.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you struggle with depression. I may not know the answers but I do know how to listen and find resources.