“Courage doesn't
always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that
says I'll try again tomorrow.”
~ Mary Anne Radmacher ~
~ Mary Anne Radmacher ~
Sometimes the victory is simply getting up
For those who saw my face
book post after my run Tuesday saw that I was really struggling (and whining a
bit) about how physically and mentally hard every step was. It may have been
whining but it was extremely hard and frustrating. My frustration was I kept
telling myself that ‘this should be easier by now’ and ‘I should be better at
this by now’ and of course comparing myself to what other people are doing and
not measuring up. There I go “shoulding” all over myself again and not dealing
with the fact that I have been tired, stressed and it is the second half of
winter. I pushed through a very difficult five mile run and that in itself says
something; either I am stronger than before or I am a glutton for punishment. I
really wanted to quit so many times and I would have felt even worse about the
whole thing. I told myself that I would wait until Thursday and see how I felt
during that run before I beat myself up too badly.
Wednesday plans changed and storms
were moving in so this was affecting my focus for that night and the next
morning. The alarm went off at 4:30 Thursday and we were in between storms (no
excuse there) but I grumbled about being tired and reset my alarm for 5:30 and
climbed back into bed. This didn't last long because I knew I was not going to
get to run again until Saturday and guilt was getting the best of me. I got up
and started getting dressed and had a cup of coffee and headed out. I instantly
felt lousy and frustrated and thought of turning around. I tried to let all the
negativity of the past few weeks fall away and be present in the moment. It was
a struggle for the first two miles and not that it got easier after that but it
got a little quieter in my head.
I told myself that I have to
stay positive. The next thing I realized was that my struggle and frustration
was not about running; that was simply the vehicle that was getting me to this
point in my life. Most days the real victory might be simply putting our feet
on the floor and moving forward. Everyday that we decide not to close the
blinds and pull the covers over our head, we win. It might be as simple as
that. And that means today I win!
Guilt is a great motivator!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is very hard to get that negativity out of your head, but it is so important to do so, and I am glad you did. That is the greatest challange of running. Being positive, and staying positive. The moment your mind goes to the "dark" side, the run is no longer fun. I have been there many times. I will say this though, the more times you can push through that, the better prepared you will be to run long distances. Nothing compares to the low that you will experience as you get up to the 50k and beyond distances. Practicing to push through it on the shorter runs will help prepare you for that.
You can do it!
That sounds like great advice. Thank you! I will probably be looking for a lot of support and advice in the coming months. I hope I can return the favor when needed.
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